warning: contents may be offensive
So, anyone who’s talked to me extensively will invariably get my opinion about the amount of safety warnings presented in our society. You could also probably get a… hint of my stance from my previous posts.
Well, this post gets it out there. In the last week, I’ve seen more and more of this crap than usual (not really, but I probably spend half of my waking day in some sort of a delusion, so indulge me.) It started to really piss me off, so without further adieu, I present Exhibit A through 12.
- Ford F150 Centrifuge
- A can of cooking spray that warns “do not spray in eyes” (photo will come later)
- Generic Combustible Engine CO Warning
Basically, the point of this post is that there are far too many stupid labels out there, in this author’s humble opinion. And far too many stupid people, for that matter. The solution? Remove the labels.
You see, the way I’m looking at it, if you can’t figure out that you shouldn’t bathe with a toaster, then maybe you shouldn’t be warned. It might make our collective lives easier if your retarded ass wasn’t part of it due to your inability to comprehend that a ton of steel shouldn’t spin near your head.
With that in mind, I’m going to bring this laptop into the shower to work on next week’s post. I wonder if I can make waffles in there while I’m at it…
Oh dang. I had my centrifuge all ready to go too… This is a good game. I’m going to try to find some other dumb warnings.
Dude, that warning was necessary! Do you have any idea what might have happened if someone tried that on a CLOSE centrifuge? Two words: holo. caust.
What? You expect us to use our brains? But society dictates otherwise! Why go against the social norms when I can just coast along and sue anyone who doesn’t hold my hand?
I propose a new label be put on such things that reads “Warning: misuse of this product may result in the removal of unnecessary genes from the gene pool and the betterment of the species.”
Here’s a fun video of a guy who tries to look at the level of gas in a tanker by using his lighter:
http://videos.streetfire.net/video/ff14842b-8b8a-4746-a9a0-9a380184fcee.htm