Recently, my posts have been mostly society-oriented rants. Well, to keep the tech side of this blog on par, I’m going to dispense some tips for you non-tech people out there (I’m not supposed to say, but we… we like to call you “normies”) and disperse a few myths. All in all, it’ll be a rich, fun-filled experience. Sit down and shut up, I don’t give a fuck if you have to pee. Read!

First, electromagnetic interference. We’ve all experienced it, it’s just not that we always know what it is. You know that hissing sound you get through your speakers sometimes when you have other devices near them? Hurray, you’ve found interference! It’s a simple fix though, that a whole herd of nerds in white labcoats solved years ago. Ready for it? Eh? Eh?  It’s… ferrite beads! These small chunks of metal can be bought from almost any electronics place, and at $0.25 apiece, there’s no real reason why you shouldn’t use them to solve your problem (they’re even cheaper if you cut them out of some old cables, like this guy shows.)

The second problem, one that I’ve encountered at work, is that people don’t know what to do when you get water in a device. The solution is intimidating, but simpler than it first seems. Here’s what you do: get an ice cube tray, a notepad if you’re forgetful, and a screwdriver that’ll fit the outermost screws of whatever device you’re about to take apart (most phones take torx screwdrivers, and hide the screws behind rubber stoppers.) Now, start taking out the case screws, making small notes that fit inside the ice cube tray to describe where each type of screw went, then put the screws in the same slot. Once you’ve got the outermost case off, simply place the device out in the sun until there’s no more water inside, then reverse the process. You’d be surprised at how much abuse a PCB (that green board inside all of those expensive black/silver boxes you buy) can take. Oh, and if you’re unlucky enough to spill something other than water in the device, for the love of god, don’t turn it on again and run it until it stops working. That is a guaranteed way to corrode the circuitry, and once that happens, good luck getting the device to work again. Ever. Dipshit.

Ok, now it’s time for the debunking section of Dr. Jake’s Electronics 101 (that’s right, I bought my doctorate from Jamaica. I still get the title, damn you!) This one is reserved specially for the retarded little stickers (usually low-frequency RFID clones) that some retard thought would be a good idea to place somewhere on your phone to “boost the signal.” Look, lemme make this simple. It doesn’t work. No, don’t even fucking argue. It doesn’t work. Your cell phone sends a signal using the internal antenna, and you’re putting a goddam sticker on the outside of the case in some vain attempt to make up for the antenna that was scrapped in the name of style. If you really want to try to boost the signal, you can always try adding to the internal antenna, but even then, you’re only helping your reception, since the transmitted signal will now be limited by the power of your phone (the fact that it even sends a signal at 800MHz for such a long period of time reliably at a decent distance should leave you scratching your head in awe.)

Anyways, this post has rambled on long enough, and I probably put both of you to sleep with random tech crap. So, did these tech tips help? Let me hear it in the comments section.